Recall that the seeds of each stage begin in the preceding stage. Whether an MLCer’s main Liminality is intermittent or not, most will begin with Intermittent Liminality as part of their transition from Escape & Avoid. They will initially dip a toe into the liminal pool, venturing deeper on later visits, but at this point they are still in Escape & Avoid. Eventually they will go deep enough to drink the liminal water—liminal poison. Persephone ate of the pomegranate seeds while in Hades and because of this she had no choice but to return. If you drink liminal poison you must return. This is not like Replay addiction where an MLCer feels compelled; it’s not a compulsion that pulls them into Liminality; they are pulled, dragged, dropped, thrown or fall. But they will fight and so in the beginning they will get tidbits of shadow surfacing. Intermittent Liminality begins during the Limbo transition, typically after an awakening. But there is not a single awakening that is a stage, rather they start awakening gradually issue by issue. The full facing of the issues is Liminality, but they must gain energy to get to that rock bottom place with these tidbits that begin intermittently.

Liminality may be a distinct phase where a person goes into a liminal space and stays there until they climb out of the liminal space. But that is not how it is for everyone. Life goes on and not everyone has the opportunity or ability to withdraw from life and functionality. For some, Intermittent Liminality may be their main method of going liminal. They take their liminal space as they can get it: weekends away or spent in solitude, mini vacations—either leaving or staying home.

When liminal, a person is usually not interested in being social or active in a relationship, but in Intermittent Liminality a person may still seek companionship when they are less liminal and more participatory. Could there be a relationship from which an MLCer takes breaks, though not break-ups? Consider an MLCer whose spouse is not Standing, does not know his spouse is Standing, does not believe reconciliation could be possible or who has already decided with consistency to not return to the marriage. Such a person could find a relationship if going through Intermittent Liminality. They may be more withdrawn than normal and need a relationship that is gradual with space, but a relationship is possible.

But what if they are still in a relationship with the same person from Replay?
Intermittent Liminality is part of the Limbo transition and thus it begins in Escape & Avoid. This may be the period when the relationship ends. The boundary between Escape & Avoid and Liminality is subjective, there is usually not one moment where they are in one and then they cross into the next a moment later. The affair is likely coming to an end, but as with everything, that is a process. An alienator can enable continuation of Escape & Avoid through pressure and guilt.

It may be easier to remain in a status quo relationship than it is to summon the courage and energy to officially end the relationship—especially if the alienator uses emotional blackmail. If after wishing the relationship is over, an MLCer continues to lack the strength and courage to end the relationship for a prolonged period, they are at greater risk for becoming stuck in-between or backing up into Escape & Avoid. But be patient, the realization that they want to end it comes long before they muster the strength and courage to end it with finality. At the point of realization and the first more determined attempts to end the affair, the fantasy love lets their guard down and reveals themself; instead of infatuated, the MLCer may now feel trapped or stuck. For a while they may feel resigned to the relationship; since they’ve destroyed everything else in their life, they might as well suffer through it and make this last thing work.


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