I’m recycling. Not because I’m lazy. I wote this at Christmas several years ago and when I overhauled the main site I took it down since it was a stand alone article rather than part of a long series. And I have since been waiting for Christmas to post it again.

Merry Christmas Everyone

Mary Believed

Once upon a time, many years ago an Angel, a messenger of God, appeared to a girl of fourteen. The Angel told her that though she was a virgin, she would conceive a son. The Holy Spirit was going to come upon her, and the power of the Highest would overshadow her, and the child to whom she was to give birth would be called the Son of God.

Imagine that you are this girl of fourteen.

What is your reaction?

Mary said, Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.

That is the miracle.

The pregnancy and birth from a virgin was miraculous, but before having proof, Mary believed.

Would you have had a faith so great?
Your MLCers claim they hate you, don’t love you or love you but are not in-love with you. They have affairs with old flames or new loves—who according to them are their true soul mates. They may seem happy in their new life. They talk of marriage with the new person, perhaps even having children. They seem certain that what they are doing is right—sometimes for years.

Faith is Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence; it leaps across chasms of the impossible.

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1

With God, anything is possible.

Though my example is Christian, the concept of Faith is Universal.
You may think your MLCer is the exception because he really does seem certain and happy; it is my experience that most LBSs feel this. As evidence you cite how he isn’t showing progress and this means it is really over and he will never change.
He will never change? Is this how he was pre-bomb, or is this a change from before?

Stop looking for signs.
…signs from your MLCer that he is progressing.
…signs from God that tell you what you should be doing.

God does communicate with each of us—it’s just that we are not always receptive and thus we are unaware.
Faith is s often done blind. It is something you do in spite of a lack of evidence. Once I put my Faith and Trust in God I began to see progress.

Flip the phrase: Believing is seeing.

But God tests Faith. Did you feel suddenly faithful only so that you could begin to see progress? That is not true faith. The progress God wants you measuring is your own.
I’m sorry, but there is Free Will. Do both, Pray and have Faith that your MLCer’s Free Will eventually coincides with God’s Will. Belief and Faith can create reality.
Faith is freeing. It allows for letting-go. Seek Peace and Faith; each makes the other more attainable.
Forget what others are saying or feeling or thinking about what you should do; believe and look toward the greatest miracle of all.

Mary believed.


Mary BelievedNo Comments

  1. Thank you for recycling. I am new to this blog and new to the idea that my husband is a MLCR. I'm still not even sure I believe it myself. I guess since my bomb drop was only Nov 9th , I am still in the 6 week shock/acceptance phase. My husband was/is a practicing catholic but started pulling away from the church a few months before he started his 2 month emotional affair in July, which turned physical in Sept. He is a soldier and turned to the OW instead of me during a very stressful and pressure filled training.Keep in mind his in not young, but 46. Its like he left one man and came back another. I sensed things were different almost immediately, which is how I found out about the OW. Anyway, back to your post…I have been in contact with our priest since I found out, and he is young hip and very open about talking about what has been going on and trying to get my "Sweeetheart" back to reality. My husband has actually agreed to have dinner with him during the next week, this after ignoring our priest for the past few months, who he has been very close to for many years. It is the season of hope and the only thing harder than having blind faith (which doesn't seem that hard prob because I have not completed the detachment process) is refocusing on myself and finding my own voice that does not include my husbands. That is my personal growth, my challenge for the New Year. Again your post is all about hope, not just for the marriage you are standing for, but for our own personal growth during this process. I thank you for your website. Bless you for your giving to so many of us who need the solace.

  2. ThePhoenix,
    Thank you for your comments. Yes, you are in the initial stages of shock when it is possibly the most traumatic physiologically. Have you read my series on this? Here's a link to the first article in the series. http://loveanyway.theherosspouse.com/?p=270
    I know this is difficult, but he is notn going to come "back" to reality. He will continue to move forward…deeper into the tunnel and then to reality once he is through the MLC tunnel. So he will get to reality, but not by moving backwards.
    My recent post Mary Believed

  3. I love this statement "Faith is Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence; it leaps across chasms of the impossible." I'm sharing it on my facebook statues and referencing you so that others will hopefully feel the strength in these words, especially during what is supposed to be a joyous season. Thank you for sharing this. I needed the strength in these words myself.

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