Redirecting and Reprogramming Thoughts and Beliefs

• How do I stop…
• Help, I can’t stop…
• picturing them together?
• crying?
• thinking about him all the time?
• panicking?
• being afraid?
• …

 First, if you asked this as a how do I rather than stating it as an I can’t, congratulations. It may seem minor, but you are acknowledging that though your task may be difficult or that you are unaware of the methods, change is possible. There are other things that can go in the list, but I wanted this list to focus on thoughts and feelings rather than physical communicative actions. Behaviors such as calling, snooping, stalking are based first on thoughts and fears. The idea I am going to address is redirecting your attention. Different methods will work for different people, but it is important that you give a method time, as it takes time to break down negative beliefs and resistance.
I will continue to review these questions in future posts, reviewing different techniques for redirecting and reprogramming your thoughts and beliefs.

Affirmations: Thinking is Believing

Affirmations are declarations of truth and as such can be used to assist with positivism and in the creation of beliefs. Affirmations are not actions, but they are important tools that can help you to not only define what you believe, but also to create what you believe. Everything you think and say is an affirmation. Are you reinforcing what you want to believe and feel or are you creating and reinforcing negative or harmful beliefs?

Guidelines for Creating Affirmations

• Positive
  The brain does not understand negation; state actions using positive words. If you want to avoid something, state what it is you want to do rather than what you want to avoid.
  I am physically fit and healthy.
  versus
  I am not overweight.
• Present tense
  State your affirmations as though they are true now. You are training your brain, if you state that you are going to be something, your brain learns that you are always in the process of becoming rather than a place where you have reached your goal.
• Short statements
  Memorizing a 200 page motivational book seems a bit complicated. Create statements that you can remember easily and repeat with frequency.
• Be Specific
  If you are making a statement about a specific person, consider how many other people there are with the same name. I am in-love with my husband Paul and love being married to him. You also love your brother Paul but you do not want to be married to him and are not in-love with him!

Guidelines for Using Affirmations

• Repeat
  Repetition reinforces the new pattern of beliefs you are establishing. Try repeating the statements several times over every morning or evening.
• Desire
  If you don’t want to believe something, why waste time trying to create the belief? This isn’t about whether you think a certain belief is healthy, but whether you want to believe it.
• Focus with Intent
  Concentrate on what it is you want to achieve, feel or believe and speak. You can speak affirmations when doing other activities. They can work in the forefront or the background—please pay attention to the road and traffic while driving! But while doing these activities you can also mentally focus on the intent of your words.
• Conviction
  Speak with meaning, tone is a reflection of belief.

Let’s look at two different types of affirmations. You cannot make other people believe or feel; it may seem that you can, but what you are doing is creating or participating in an environment that facilitates their believing or feeling a certain way. You can create personalized Self affirmations as well as affirmations that are about others, this latter type is about how you think others feel about you.

About Self
I am a loving person.
About others
My husband Paul finds me attractive and is in-love with me.

Making this statement will not have a magical effect on Paul, rather it is about Acting As If.
Acceptance is power. An affirmation that you have an easier time accepting will have greater power. This does not mean that your resistance to an affirmation means it will fail, but rather that you may take longer to break through your negative beliefs. Though affirmations may seem simply like repeated words and phrases; the words are a vehicle that helps in the process of becoming aware of inner thoughts and patterns. Negative beliefs often exist outside of awareness and thus you are doing nothing to change them. Affirmations reveal resistance so that you can begin to break it down.

Affirmation Examples
• I am blessed and rejoice in the love I receive.
• I believe in myself and so do others.
• I choose joy in all circumstances.
• I am relaxed and ready to face the world.
• I accept and receive love freely into my life.
• I offer love unconditionally and receive it openly.
• I have a positive and loving relationship with my wife Julie.
• I welcome love into my life.
• I accept and trust in the process of this journey of my life.
• My mind is calm and at peace.
• I choose and control my thoughts.
• I accept the journey of life and choose joy each day.

Affirmations are not parachutes, believing you can jump from the top story of a skyscraper with no training, gear or a safety net is beyond folly unless your goal is to remove yourself from the gene pool. These reprogramming and change tools are not cure-alls and there can be a danger when they are utilized in partnership with denial.

How do you think affirmations can help you?
Have you used them before and what were your experiences?
What have you used them for?
Do you have any affirmation suggestions?
What challenges do you see with using affirmations?
Skeptical of affirmations? Why?