• Janis Joplin says:

    I am brand new to this sight. I appreciate your comments. I did not know the word Stander but believe I have been one. My husband left the kids and I a year ago this month. Although 59 he is totally in a MLC.

    Formally a wonderful husband and father and a man of faith has had a 360 degree change! personality and morals. He is now living with a 33 year old married woma

    • Janis Joplin says:

      …and she is getting a divorce after a three year marriage. We have been together longer than she has been alive. But he filed. 10 months ago. You are right there is nothing I can do to stop it. Thank you for :still recognizing those of us still standing even though we are or will be divorced.

  • Faye says:

    I was married for 32 years. My MLC has cheated on me before and I had forgiven him in the past. We moved and rebuilt out new retired life in Florida. That lasted 3 yrs and he is right back doing it again. Walked out Dec 27, 2009 ( Merry Christmas to me) Was engaged in Feb. of 2011, We were divorced March of 2011 and he was remarried in July 2011. He beat me and denies the whole thing. I never reported it because I thought he would come back and we would fix things as we had so many other times. He was physical twice with me over the years. But now looking back he has been very verbally abusive for years. Even mentally abusive.
    I no longer trust him but just need insight.
    Now he blames this whole thing on me and will not talk to me or our kids. He says he hates me because I told our adult kids. Some have said this is "guilty anger". We still have the marital asset home to sell but he is not cooperating with me. Can you offer some explanation as to his behavior and some advise as to how to handle it.
    Thank you in advance for your help understanding his mind-set.

  • fie says:

    I'm a stander for three years, since a few months we are finally seeing a therapist that works with Emotionaly Focused Therapy (EFT). It's amazing what she realises in such a short time, although it goes very slowly… Somedays I'm feeling on the top of the world, others I cry,… but I'm strong and enjoy every little moment, no longer living in the past of the future. No longer affraid of being alone, but I miss him every day… Your great explanations and advises always come at the right moment! Thank you verry much.

  • chinalady says:

    I waited five years to divorce my ex. I signed the papers in May and in August I was flying off to China to start a new life as a teacher. I have never been happier, I have seen so many wonderful things but even today I would trade it all to have me family back.

  • David says:

    Getting support during a divorce seems to be harder for men. I think that it is because most men pretend that they are not suffering.

    My recent post Is There Really Life After Divorce for Men?

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