Mirror-Work is not about your relationship and how you interact with others, but it will change how you interact as you change inside; changes in relationships are a byproduct of internal changes.
Mirror-Work is not about fixing. Many of you are focused on flaws and fixing and since you think you have few flaws, you are puzzled. You like yourself. So what? Does that mean you should stop learning and growing? Your body is changing; maybe there are new things you should learn simply about aging, being a parent of teenagers or college students or a parent of new parents. Life moves forward. Should your physician stop reading The New England Journal of Medicine because his flaws are slight?
Self-Focus is not about correcting and fixing all the things wrong with you. It’s about focusing on your Self with Love, loving who you are and embracing life with joy—your individual life.
I found a great way to spark a personal journey or Mirror-Work is through what I wrote about in the blog series Redirecting and Reprogramming Thoughts and Beliefs. In that I reviewed…
- Creative Visualization
The purpose within that series was to do as the title stated and redirect your thoughts from those awful fears and images you can’t get out of your mind. But they are more than that. I’m an introvert, so these work for me because they are solitary. It’s about quiet time with my thoughts, talking to God, emptying my thoughts and accepting what comes in and it is a time for my body to relax. Creativity is another great spark: painting, dancing, sculpting, building… Become the builder and put your mind into creation. Writing, journaling, poetry, story-telling… Or exercise: go find the runner’s high, take yoga…
Notice how those are not direct. They aren’t about you having a problem with anger and going to an anger management class where you learn about controlling your anger and what triggers you and maybe some psychology of anger—I’ve heard those classes are a joke anyway. Those techniques are not focusing on problems; they aren’t even focusing on solutions; they focus simply on you.
And you don’t need to think of this Mirror-Work as a journey like a temporary transition. It’s life. It’s the 4th commandment: Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy. It’s about carving out a space within your day or week (and life) for rest—Sabbatical. It’s about using that time to focus on you and your relationship with your Higher Power and what it means—whatever it may refer to. Mirror-Work is about Self-Love, not Self-improvement which is a natural byproduct of loving your Self.
I completely agree with you. One of the things I got from H's mlc was to understand that I needed time to think and be and that I had to try to find ways to combat the negative thoughts. Two things worked for me- visualisations & learning to ride. I used to imagine H & the OW and then shrink them down to the size of a postage stamp and then cover it with my foot. I had never ridden before but had always wanted to and it is great as physical exercise and also as a mental discipline. As an absolute beginner I had to concentrate so that I didn't fall off. Over time I realised that horse are incredibly intuitive and pick up on their riders mood. You can't pretend to a horse. The fact that horses make me happy was a great help but also focussing on the horse and what we were trying to achieve shifted the negative thoughts.
An additional benefit was that I made new friends
[…] the Way is about how you treat others and your Self; it integrates with Mirror-Work which is about you; who you are, how you respond and react and what you can do to change what […]