• […] like anything else in life, it can also be very … … Go here to see the original: Following Your Bliss & Narcissus | Love AnyWay ← Family Law- How to Avoid Divorce Part II | the Marks Law Firm, P.A. RELATIONSHIP […]

  • Tony says:

    Narcissism, and personality disorders (PD) are something to take very seriously, a MLC is one thing and a PD is quite another and very serious and as it becomes more pronounced, it may well be a form of sociopathy. There is no saving such a person, only the acceptance of long term abuse or constant hyper-vigilant boundary enforcement. A sociopath has no empathy for you, does not care about your pain, is only interested in his or her source of supply and if that supply comes from causing you pain? Then they will happily destroy you – research the symptoms and protect yourselves and your children. In particular, look out for the confusing language patterns, decoys, lies, manipulations – and skill, cunningness and lack of conscience in relation to these traits. If you can see this – be very weary, it’s a slippery slope and it only goes in one direction.

  • orwhatyouwill says:

    Thanks, RCR.

    "MLCers think that they are following their bliss. They are certainly hearing a call, but they fail to understand and instead misinterpret what they are supposed to do. Their Shadow is calling and they run away and fall in fear, landing in the arms of temptation. Addictive highs may feel like what they think bliss should feel."

    "MLCers, in narcissistic Replay, are afraid of their true reflection—the reflection they see when looking in the eyes of others. They instead find an Echo, someone who will spout empty praise and faun over them."

    I agree, and I also think that the narcissism of MLC shows itself in their withdrawal, inward focus, inability to show empathy…. at least with my MLCer, I think he was actually unable to consider anyone's feelings but his own. He was/maybe still is totally focused on himself.

    Re follow your bliss. My WS and I were interested in Joseph Campbell long before his MLC began. Here's an irony for you. We were actually watching the Power of Myth on video the night before I found out about OW#1 which was the first inkling I had of anything going on. It came out of the blue. We were watching the Power of Myth and I caught him the next morning (literally a few hours after we'd been watching it together!) on a tryst, lying to me about where he'd gone.

    He seemed repentant at the time and I remember asking him how on earth he could have just been watching Joseph Campbell and not seen any conflict with what he went out and did the following morning. He didn't see any conflict. I watched the Power of Myth again by myself a few years later… long after all hell had broken loose in our lives and my WS was long gone… and I thought wow, that was another example of my WS really not "getting" something in the right way… or at least what I think is right. He had a twisted take on everything during MLC. I could see how an MLCer or narcissist would take Campbell's words to mean something they weren't intended. And then Campbell himself later said that he wished he'd never come up with that phrase because of how it had been misinterpreted. He might as well have said "follow your blisters." LOL

    As far as amoral… I still see it that way. The psyche is amoral. I think that morals are cultural. They are things that human beings create. Right/wrong is a judgement call and open to interpretation and context.

    MLCers don't show much in the way of conventional morals, generally speaking. As you put it, "Their Shadow is calling and they run away and fall in fear, landing in the arms of temptation. Addictive highs may feel like what they think bliss should feel."

    If an MLC is one path toward individuation, I would call it amoral. Morals are not part of the equation on that road to individuation.

    But not everyone has an MLC and I think an MLC is not a requirement on the road to individuation, right? So maybe a person can follow a path toward individuation while maintaining some kind of moral compass… i.e., not breaking marriage vows, not hurting people (including themselves), not falling into the addictions/"fun" replay behaviors we often see with MLCers…

    I'm not sure psychoanalysis (with or without an MLC involved) involves much consideration of conventional morals. It seems like a pretty narcissistic (and I don't mean it in the sense of the personality disorder) process… very inward-focused/naval-gazing. I don't have first-hand experience with it, so that's just my impression.

    Thanks for putting so much time into these posts, RCR. I'm enjoying the discussion.

  • Sil says:

    Thanks for the information RCR. I would add that labelling is not always helpful. Not everyone who behaves follows the pattern can necessarily be called 'narcissistic.' Actually, people with very low self esteem can 'appear' to be this and yet they are the opposite. I think we all have Narcissus in us somewhere.

    I agree about the blindsided bliss though!

  • >