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Covert Reassurance2 Comments

  1. Dear Kenda,

    One more post to feed me and a friend of mine who doesn´t speak English but is also a stander for her husband. Thank you so much for your insight.

    as I read this post I understand what you say as to the need to push and pull . In my case I am always afraid to be rejected again in what I might do. My husband moved out 3 1/2 years ago (he lives at his own place and has lived for a few months with the alienator but now I don't even know as they stand with each other) and he is a boomerang cake-eater who keeps in contact with me almost daily for common business reasons. He wants to be friends but at a distance; he is uncomfortable in physical proximity but he says I can be sure of his care for me. Our kids are already adults.
    I am afraid oh hearing from him "it is about time you get over that" if I would ever do something like the rose quartz heart. 🙁
    Yet I was brave enough to pursue what I imagined for his 50th anniversary. I DHL a package with mementos from his early infancy (pictures, toys, soap, newspaper, music, etc) and I know he loved for he run to his sister to show her. He was very happy with it but to me he was nice and just thanked me for putting together all that stuff.
    Maybe we are not there yet!… What is you comment?

  2. Kenda,

    I want to take this opportunity to thank you for your efforts here and the amazing help you have Been to me. I have been silent on the forums….wrote out my story but somehow lost it before I was able to load it. Anyways, H and I have been separated for nearly two years. There was a lot of monster and a few touch and goes. He was definitely wanting a divorce and enjoying his ‘single’ life. We are currently in reconnection for about two months. I put so much of your advice into practice, mostly the mirror work. I can honestly say that the time We had apart has been so painful but so good for me. I was forced to work on myself as I had absolutely no control over him. We are now talking about moving back in together and a recommitment of our vows, but I still sense some hesitancy from him. How do I approach this? I don’t think he is all the way through yet. I want to support him But I don’t want to get in the way of his own learning. Thank you in advance for any input you may have.

    Pamela

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