Mixed Messages and Cycling7 Comments

  1. This blog has definitely touched a nerve in me! I had my doubts that my husband is in MLC because since the time he returned and left again (almost 2 years since that happened) he has never wavered and on top of that, his excuse for coming back was because I made him feel guilty and that was the only reason. This I don't really believe although I am sure guilt spurred him on. When he came back things were wonderful, but toward the end of the 8 months – every once in awhile I could see and feel other emotions in him – he let the MLC win. He wasn't really ready to come back. (cont.)

  2. Losing Hope: if you see this comment – my divorce seems imminent also but I refuse to be the one to agree to what he wants. My bottom line is : I don't want a divorce. If you want one, then you will have to force it on me. Everyone has the ability to make their own choices – and this is what I choose. For once I will be true to myself.

  3. I am so unsure about how to handle my situation: my husband never moved out after bomb drop. We struggled quite a bit during first 6 months -his depression, anxiety attacks – I always felt that he ended it(affair) too easily – even though to this day he continues to deny that he ever met with her in person- and as things continued to improve I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he wasn't being truthful with me (his own version of truth). He has ZERO remorse, only guilt and shame -there is no transparency and it woild be easy for him to resume cake-eating. I couldn't take the not knowing- so I was able to find a way to track him through an AT&T app on our phones. Well it showed me he wastes a lot of time at work and to keep up he does have to wrk late a lot. But it also showed me about every two weeks he meets with someone at lunch and goes for a walk- I was able to get pictures using google earth and while not crystal clear it is most certainly him and her-the clothing, bald head, the way he is carrying his cup, it is him- yet he continues to deny =calls me crazy. If its not her its someone else but pretty sure her -their affair begin emotionally over 5 years ago- they were friends before we met, we have even gone to a bbq with our families at her home (she married). I sometimes feel as if he is trying to make it work because he doesn't want to give up any $$ or possessions – or they are secretly setting up their life together before splitting with spouses or she wont leave hers so he stays with me – I have done an excellent job this time of staying neutral -no overreaction! But what do I do now -I don't have the financial ability to leave and create a no contact ( he controls all $-but I am going to real estate school and hope to be working within a few months) HELP PLEASE I NEED SOME ADVICE CHELY 5150- CHECK OUT MY BLOG AT: for more details -thank-you

  4. oh and I forgot to say that he is also a covert narcissist and I have endured emotional abuse for most of our 20 year marriage. chely5150

  5. so bummed that I posted two daysago and didn't receive a single reply from my request. Oh well the intial question time frame is over now. Husband still with me – is the crisis over? I'm sure its not, but I just plug along each day doing the best that I can. At this point who knows what the future will hold.

  6. Hi sister!! I to havnt had and to some of my posts:-( what he’ll this is we are living a nightmare ..please with me hang in there and do your own thing I’m trying desperatly to detach x married 30yrs together 36 I was 16 when we met bomb drop the speech was 16mnths ago affair discovered 5mnths ago left lived with the ‘pond’ scum’ for 5weeks came back for3weels then I told him to go as he kept contact with her !!! Now been at his mums since this new year still touch and goes but I’m sure he’s still seeing the pond scum to I know I must cut contact now but it’s so hard 🙁 hang on in there hugs xxx

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