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Premature Returns4 Comments

  1. Hugely helpful to me today, Rollercoasterider – thank you. My MLCer has recently left for the 3rd time in 4 1/2 years, following what appears to be the same, or at the very least a very similar, path. The one thing that has been different in the past 2 returns, is the alienator – different OW. I know that you often speak of an affair being a relationship, but it almost seems as though his infidelity is more MONSTER driven. I say that because I feel that he uses these OW to medicate only – it never seems to be a true relationship but more just like trying to quiet the storm.

  2. Just the same, I see wherein I did not establish boundaries for his return that would require my MLCer to fully work through his crisis. Not only was he premature in his returning, I was premature in allowing it. I have been thinking of it in the context of pulling him from the flames before he goes through the fire. He needs to go through the fire, right? He knows I love him and has grown a bit too secure in feeling that I will always be here, no matter his behavior. It is now time for him to feel that he may possibly lose me. He is cycling again and I am going No Contact as much as I can (we have a wonderful daughter). Thank you for the reality check.

  3. Pingback: Midlife Crisis: Do MLCer's Return to Normal and Come Home? - Love AnyWay

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