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Detachment Versus Distancing3 Comments

  1. Still getting used to the jargon.

    But it seems like the LBS is playing a game with the MLCer. . . won't they just "move on" cause they think the LBS is just playing a game with them?

    The MLCer may think it is easier to just go on to someone else?

  2. Rollercoasterrider, it is not a game – detachment is for the LBS only. I have had many months of trouble detaching and that has stalled my growth and moving forward many times. I find myself wallowing in the Pity Pit instead of pulling myself out and taking one step ahead at a time. My MLCer has been in a PF with a coworker for now over a year, it started out as an EA. OW is a mentally unstable woman, just freshly divorced with 2 children. My H and I just signed a Separation/Property Settlement Agreement mid-April when he left AGAIN after just 9 days because he made contact with OW. Anyhow, long story short, I wound up with pretty much everything – which is what he agreed to last year when he first started talking legal separation. OW tried her best to get him to cause a situation and not agree to it. I prayed and prayed, and calmly told him it was what HE wanted and what HE said, and I was not going to be involved in a long and expensive legal battle. Either he could sign it as is, or he could end his affair and stay with NO further contact with OW (which would be difficult since they work together I realize). So I am in the process of detaching, it is not easy believe me. I have gone dark on him. All this takes TIME and I believe God is working on my H without me in His way. Hang in there, stay strong. The end result will be well worth your love, forgiveness and putting God as Number 1 in your life. God bless.

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